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The Tourist - Movie Review

 The Tourist - Movie Review 

 Danger, intrigue, suspense, romance - all characteristics you'd expect of cops and robbers mystery starring two of Hollywood's hottest heartthrobs, Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. But there is no urgency, no smoldering passion and no excitement in The Tourist. While it might not come as a surprise that a movie with a paper-thin plot and boasting a cast led by two Hollywood stars is a flop, The Tourist's greatest disappointment is that it comes from the director who gave us 2006's outstanding The Lives of Others, and it bares no resemblance to that award-winning thriller.
When Frank (Johnny Depp), an American tourist, meets the mysterious and forward Elise (Angelina Jolie) on a train, he gets caught between Interpol and a British gangster, who are all after Alexander Pierce, a crafty financial criminal. But Strangers on a Train this is not. Elise somehow cons the police into thinking Frank is the sought-after Pierce, while Frank goes along with whatever Elise demands. It's the kind of nonsense that your suspension of disbelief is supposed to forgive, but gap between what we'll go along with and what we'll laugh at is far too great.
The problem stems from nearly every aspect of the film. First and foremost, Depp and Jolie have absolutely no chemistry. Both sleepwalk through the movie, which moves at a snails pace. Writer/director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck gives us morsels of character backstory - Frank's wife died in a car accident, Elise fell in love with her undercover mark - but none of the pieces add up to a full, dynamic character. Frank doesn't carry any baggage because of his loss and Jolie's portrayal of Elise is so emotionless that it doesn't matter who she loves. She's just goes through the plot points one-by-one until the end credits roll.
The other half of the romance/mystery plot also has major problems. The Lives of Others wasn't known for any bombastic, exciting moments; most of the film was understated suspense worrying about characters we cared about. Since we don't care about either of the characters in The Tourist, none of the action set pieces carry any weight. It also doesn't help that these scenes are edited without any sense of urgency. Shots last several beats too long and there are gaps in the action, like when Frank jumps through a market awning and somehow pushes a cop into the water from several feet away. There's also a boring boat chase that apparently takes place in a "no wake" zone.
Let's not forget the scene with Depp and Jolie dancing like motorized mannequins, Octopussy's villain (Steve Berkoff) showing up to move the plot forward and Timothy Dalton, as Chief Inspector Jones, chasing Inspector John Acheson (Paul Bettany) as he scratches his head and asks, "Is that Pierce?" The answer is always, "We don't care." By the time Pierce reveals himself, we're already putting our coats on. The Tourist offers us nothing in the way of entertainment. It's an exercise in the Hollywood equation of putting the names of two high-profile stars above the title and hoping that audiences show up for the snoozefest.

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